Why is it important to be modest? I think Fr. Scanlon's Article does a much better job explaining this than I could. He is a holy man.
The goal is to accentuate your real beauty and to draw attention to your face. So remember that with every ensemble you put together! A woman's physique, no matter what body type, is beautiful! Dressing each body type will mean different rules for each, but the ultimate goal is the same: to inspire a sense of awe in those who see you, because of the beauty God created in you! Dress to be beautiful, not provocative. These 2 things have much different effects on men. A beautiful woman inspires a man to sacrifice everything, to climb the highest mountain, slay the toughest dragon. It inspires him to be a better man for that woman. A provocative woman creates a desire to possess, to use for his own enjoyment. The former makes him want to give of himself, the latter makes him want to take for himself. Beauty raises his thoughts and mind to heaven, while provocativeness draws him inside of himself and his own selfish inclinations. So for the sake of our own dignity, and self-respect, (and for calling men to something higher,) our aim must be to be beautiful, not provocative.
What I want to focus on is: how the heck do I dress modestly? Or even find modest clothing? It's tough. I agree. But it can be done. And it can be fun! I want to offer some tips that I've found/used, and I would also like anyone who has tips to please comment!
1) Layers.
A) I wear a tank top under almost everything!
B) Men follow lines with their eyes. So layers help to blur those lines, like the ones V-necks create.
C) They also help minimize attention to a larger bust, while maximizing the curve of a smaller one, without drawing too much attention.
D) This is also a great way to utilize your favorite, possibly modestly questionable, tops that you don't want to get rid of! Put a fun t-shirt under it!
2) Take advantage of the longer shirts that are in style right now!
3) Scarves! They are a hip way to accessorize, and they help hide a lower neckline!
4) Don't be afraid to go up a size.
It's not a reflection of your body type, it's a defect of the manufacturer. They never seem to understand that we don't look the same as we did when we were 12. I have some shirts that are a small and some that are a large. It just depends on where you shop that day. So don't let sizes box you in! Find what REALLY fits.
5) Revolutionary tip: Wearing something too tight can often make you look heavier!
Too many lines show that shouldn't, and it makes a woman look like she doesn't fit into her own clothes. So going for a size up can actually make you look slimmer!
6) The Cardigan.
One of the most functional articles of clothing to have in your closet. I know we make jokes about the typical FOCUS wardrobe, but it's because it works! You can find them in TONS of styles, so it doesn't have to box you in style-wise.
The whys:
A) Women typically are fickle about temperature, so they can save you if you go someplace drafty, or easily take it off if you get too warm.
B) They save you if you get too cold, if you know what I mean.
C)They can look super hip over your fav concert tee, or dress up a tank with a nice necklace. Soo many benefits!
7) Slips, Slips, Slips! When wearing a skirt, one step outside, and the sun will shine right through that puppy!
8) Wear more skirts! Funky long ones! Being a hippie is in! They still allow maximum mobilization, and you don't have to deal with: a) Pants that show your underwear when you sit down, and b) worrying if your jeans are too tight. They are built-in blankets when it's cold, and ventilators when it's warm! I often wear leggings underneath to maximize mobility, just in case I need to run after something :) You can dress them up or dress them down. And they are completely feminine. And completely forgiving to any figure. They accentuate a curvy figure, and give thin women a little hipp-age.
A few more tips:
What to do in front of the mirror:
1) Just because it looks ok standing straight up in the mirror, doesn't mean it passes the test. We don't spend the day in one place, completely motionless. Stand in front of the mirror and bend over, if you can see down your shirt, then everyone else will be able to when you bend down to tie your shoe, or pick up that pencil you dropped. A higher-neck cami can help! (Once again, I stress layers!)
2) Walk around. Things will move and shift!
3) On average, men are taller than women. It's a fact. So when picking out a shirt, keep that in mind. If a man stands next to you and looks down at you, will he still be drawn to your face??
A few Don'ts:
1) Leggings are not pants, ladies. And I would argue that they do not legitimize short mini skirts, either. Remember those lines I mentioned earlier? Men's eyes follow lines. Leggings do not prevent your leg from being a line for men to follow.
2) Words on clothing will always draw attention to the location of the words. Beware of where you are directing people's eyes.
3) Just because your body is covered, does not mean you are dressed modestly. Tightness is just as important to look out for.
“Your clothing should be tight enough to show you're a woman, and loose enough to show you're a lady.”
- Edith Head, fashion designer to Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelley and Ginger Rogers
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