On Accepting Chivalrous Offers....

I just read this article, written by a man addressing this problem women have in accepting chivalrous attempts. I found his analysis interesting and hadn't heard it described this way before:

“I Wouldn’t Want To Inconvenience You”

Imagine that a princess has been kidnapped by an evil ogre and locked in a dark, gloomy castle. But suddenly a brave knight in shinning armor rides up on a white horse, swims the castle moat in full armor, wins a hard-fought victory over the vicious ogre, finds her cell, and calls out, “Stay back! I am going to break down the door and free you!” Wouldn’t it ruin the story if she responded, “Oh, don’t bother. I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you.”
Sadly, this is the way many modern day “fairy tales” end. A gentleman tries to serve a girl, she responds by being embarrassed because she doesn’t want to inconvenience him, and he is discouraged from acting the part of a man.
Many girls wrongly assume that the hardest part of chivalry is the actual act of service, while in reality the hardest battle most men have to fight is asking you, not carrying your bags.
In other words, when a gentleman offers to open the door for you he has already had to conquer his “inner ogre” of self-centeredness and cluelessness. If you refuse his service because you’re afraid of inconveniencing him it’s like telling the knight who swam the moat and defeated the ogre that you wouldn’t want to “trouble” him with opening the door of your cell.
Challenge yourself to remember that a gentleman is going against the current of our culture by fighting his self-centeredness and asking to serve you. If he’s already killed the ogre, let him open the door.

http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2006/08/when-lancelot-comes-riding-part-1/

What Kind of Woman Are You?

Are you the kind that faces adventure head on?

Are you the kind that everyone goes to for advice?

Do you take joy in serving those around you?

Are you a mover and a shaker? Or do you add a calm presence to those around you?

Do you know where your gifts lie? The good Lord has gifted each and every one of us with special talents and traits that make us unique. Do we take the time to reflect on what he's given us?  If we don't know what they are, then it is impossible for us to use them to the best of our ability, or to allow Him to use them through us.  And if so, then we are no better than the worker who buried his talent in the ground, waiting for his master to return. (Matt 25:18) How did the Master respond? "You wicked and lazy servant!"  Yikes.

Too many times, instead of celebrating the gifts we've been given, we focus on the ones we wish we had, or the ones the women around us have.  "I am not as outgoing as my roommate," or "I'm not as creative she is." If we spend our time thinking about what we don't have, then we, in a sense, are telling the Lord that we are ungrateful for what He's given us, and that we could have designed ourselves better than he did!  It also creates a temptation to not live in reality, to not truly see ourselves, and in so doing, making it impossible to live out true humility, which is seeing ourselves clearly, as God sees us.  Our strengths and our weaknesses.  

Why do we compare ourselves to others?  What is at the root of this behavior?  Part of it lies in the fact that we look for our dignity and worth in the acceptance of others.  If we truly believed that our dignity and worth lies in our identity as daughters of the King, then it wouldn't matter that I'm not as organized as my roommates, or am not a witty storyteller.  My worth does not come from what I do, but who I am. 

 Ironically, it is only when we realize this that we will be able to do anything well.  The women above knew who they were, and knew the gifts they were given, and in turn used them to become beautiful, dynamic women! And all extremely different.  Flannery O'Connor's gifts were not the same as Mr. Teresa's.  St. Therese had different gifts than St. Gianna. But all of them are honored for being devout, dynamic women.  Take time to reflect on where your gifts lie.  If you are struggling, ask the people who know you best. They often see us more clearly than we see ourselves. 

Advent Reflections

I'm sitting at one of my favorite local coffee shops, doing some work. 2 burly men just walked in, obviously on their break from some construction job, all decked out in their work gloves, work boots, overalls, and smelling of cigarettes. One of them asked the other, “Have you ever had a mocha?” “Uh, I don't know.” “Well do you want one?” “I want something hot.” “A mocha is hot, it's like a hot chocolate with espresso in it.”

Overhearing this conversation made me reflect on how I live a much different kind of life than most people. Over the past 5 years, I have spent countless hours consuming my favorite caffeinated beverages, talking with young men and women about the the Love of God and how to pursue it more intensely in their lives. A combination of my 2 favorite things. I live a privileged, blessed life. Yes, fundraising my salary can be difficult at times, and some months are better than others, but the Lord good and always provides. I do not reflect often enough on how indebted I am to Him. At the moment, I am half-way through a book called “He Leadeth Me,” a book written by a priest who spent over 23 years as a Soviet prisoner, spent partly in solitude confinement and the other part in a Siberian slave labor camp. And over and over he comments on how every day that he lived was a gift! What faith! What an example of true gratitude. I, on the other hand, get upset when I have to get up early for an appointment.

It seems as though the Lord has been slowly showing me more and more intentionally how much I need to simplify my life. I have been blessed to serve on several mission trips where the people who were hosting me work much harder, and have much less than I. And yet they gave everything they had. An amazing example of heroic generosity. It's been a great moment of reflection on how much I give of my time, treasure, and talents. How much I seek daily pleasures like that mocha with whip cream. How much I give of my self when it's asked of me, and how much less I give when it's not asked of me.

If there was one area in my life that I would like to work on most, it would be in the realm of discipline and strengthening my will. In this time of Advent, it is the perfect time to give of myself, in anticipation of the coming of our Lord, who humbled himself in the form of man, so that he could give everything for our sake. To the point of death on a cross. He loves us that much. Lord Jesus, teach me to love as you love. To give completely as you gave of yourself. Without restrain, without conditions.

Sharing is Caring

Anyone who has discovered Christ must lead others to him. A great joy cannot be kept to oneself. It has to be passed on. - Pope Benedict XVI (2005 World Youth Day)

There are many things I love.  Typically when something grabs my interest, I am not quite satisfied until I have hunted down the most quality version of said thing.  Quality counts. Quality beer, quality coffee, quality music. All things I love. And as Pope Benedict says, if you love something, you must pass it on.  

Now, I know he was talking about something much more significant than these small daily pleasures. One cannot compare a love for good coffee with the desire to grow deeper in relationship with Jesus.  However, in sharing these small insights into my life, I am attempting to follow the words of St. Paul when he says, " So being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our very selves, because you had become very dear to us." (1 Thes 2:8.)

Our desire for God should be apparent in every inch of our being.  By sharing our lives with others, it should be obvious that our love for Christ effects every decision we make.  "They will know we are Christians by our love" and whatnot. The greatest form of evangelization is our witness, our example.  And in everything, we should be seeking what is true, what is good, and what is beautiful.  These are how we encounter God.  Truth, Beauty, Goodness.  And these 3 things are apparent in even the smallest daily occurrence.  A beautiful song, a mathematical truth, a good deed done for a friend.  

And so, with this blog, I attempt to share all things true, good, and beautiful that I come across. One more way in which I attempt to share Christ with the world.  Our culture has stopped acknowledging the existence of Truth, has lost sight of what is Good, and is moving too fast to notice what is Beautiful.  By sitting down and writing about them, it helps me to reflect on and recognize these 3 things as well. And by recognizing these three things, our minds are instantly reminded of Heaven and the glory that awaits us.  They transcend to a higher existence.

So quality counts.  Let us not settle for mediocrity. So it begins.